


Seeing Double

by wackyjacqs



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Alternate Reality, Alternate Samantha 'Sam' Carter, Angst, Episode: s03e06 Point of View, F/M, Friendship, Quantum Mirror (Stargate)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-26
Updated: 2018-12-18
Packaged: 2019-08-29 22:03:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,604
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16752292
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wackyjacqs/pseuds/wackyjacqs
Summary: Jack tried to push all of the sensations out of his mind. For one, it wasn't his Carter he’d kissed; and two, he quickly remembered that he really shouldn't be thinking of any Carter in that kind of way. Episode tag for season 3’s Point Of View. Takes place just after Jack steps back through the Quantum Mirror.





	1. Chapter 1

Jack continued to stare at the disconnected quantum mirror. In all honesty, he didn't know what else to do. When Doctor Carter had kissed him, every nerve ending in his body had reacted in a way he never thought it would. The intensity of the reaction was something he hadn’t expected. It was on a scale he had never experienced before – not even with Sara and that surprised him, not to mention made him feel a little guilty.

Now, as he stood and stared at the alien piece of technology, the implications of his actions started to sink in.

He saw Doctor Carter's blue, pain-filled eyes staring back at him as she came to the realization that he really wasn't her husband. But his skin felt like it was on fire from where her fingers had danced along the side of his neck as she had kissed him, and he could taste her on his lips and tongue. He could even smell the faint residue of her perfume on his clothes from where she had leaned against him. It was an assault on his senses and she was overwhelming him.

Jack closed his eyes and tried to push all of the sensations out of his mind. For one, it wasn't _his_ Carter he’d kissed; and two, he quickly remembered that he really shouldn't be thinking of _any_ Carter in that kind of way.

Before his thoughts had time to go down a dangerous road, General Hammond's voice shattered the heavy silence.

"Colonel, I'd like you, Doctor Jackson and Teal'c to visit the infirmary. Doctor Fraiser is expecting you," he added, letting them know their visit wasn't an option. "Then," he hesitated slightly, "I'd like to see you in my office."

"Yes, sir," he replied quietly, his back still to everyone in the room.

He felt the general’s gaze linger for a moment before he turned on his heel and left SG-1 alone, but he waited until the sound of Hammond's footsteps had faded before he spoke.

"You heard the general. Daniel, Teal'c – go get checked out," he ordered gently.

His attention never left the mirror, but he knew the instant his friends left the room, leaving him and his Carter alone. He turned slowly and his eyes landed on her. Pursing his lips, he studied her closely. She was so like the other Carter, and yet, so different.

Her hair was shorter, obviously, but still a brilliant shade of blonde. She wasn't dressed in civilian clothing, but in baggy BDUs which hid her tall and slender frame. However, the most striking difference he noticed, was when he risked a quick glance at her left hand and saw no wedding ring. Swallowing hard at the sudden lump in his throat, Jack forced his eyes back up to the Sam's face and froze.

Those eyes. They were the same. The exact damn same. Wide, blue and full of pain. Why the pain was there, Jack wasn't entirely sure, but before he could ask, he slowly and purposefully moved towards her, only stopping when he was millimeters away. He was well within her personal space, and he had probably overstepped a military boundary or three by doing so, but in that moment, he didn't really care.

He heard Sam's sharp intake of breath and felt it tickle his neck when she let it go. He resisted the urge to shudder as his body started to react, his eyes darting down to her lips. He watched as Sam's tongue involuntarily licked her lips. Stifling a moan, he closed his eyes and leaned forward, a hand coming to rest around her wrist.

His lips hovered by her ear, so close he would've sworn he had just leaned in a little too close, and they’d brushed her earlobe. But he immediately dismissed the thought as ridiculous. He couldn’t have let his guard down that much… could he?

He took a deep breath.

He couldn't be here, He needed to get away.

"I'm sorry, Carter," he whispered, before brushing past her and leaving her alone with the quantum mirror and a room full of distorted emotions.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the kudos and reviews left on my different fics so far – I can’t put into words how amazing, and encouraging they are. A few of you have also messaged to ask about any multi-chapters I might have… and yes, I do. I have a few of them tucked away. At last count, I am currently tidying up seven of them, while there’s another 15 WIPs of various lengths and incompleteness. I’ll get there. Eventually.

The elevator doors closed and Jack swiftly slammed his fist against one of its walls. He chose to ignore the pain in his hand and arm, and closed his eyes, swearing softly as he rested his head against the cool metal.

He liked to be in control – always had – and that feeling of command had only intensified over the years thanks to his military training. There had been times when things had certainly been beyond his control, like when he’d been held prisoner during his Black Op days, and when Charlie had –

Jack shook his head to clear those thoughts away, but as the elevator lurched to a stop, the momentum made him dizzy. He placed a hand against the wall and took a deep breath as his vision cleared and the confined space of the elevator slowly merged back into the proper dimensions. Ironically, he thought it mirrored his life in that moment. It was almost as if his life was starting to spiral out of control – and he didn’t like it. The reasons as to why, he decided, could wait until he was alone with a six-pack of Guinness but as the elevator pinged cheerily and the doors opened to Level 21, he schooled his features and pushed himself off the wall.

He entered the infirmary to see Daniel and Janet talking in hushed tones and his step faltered slightly as he moved further into the room and their discussion stopped abruptly once the archaeologist realized they were no longer alone.

"Let's get this over with, Doc. Hammond needs to see me ASAP."

Casting a quick glance to Daniel, Janet nodded and mumbled a 'Yes, Sir', before she made her way over to the bed he had not-so-gracefully plonked himself.

"Roll up your sleeve," she instructed as she moved around him. She worked quietly for a few moments, when Jack heard her take a deep breath.

"Is everything OK, Sir?"

His gaze slid sideways, but his expression remained neutral. "Fine, doc."

She pursed her lips, and Jack winced as she stuck a needle – with more force than he felt was necessary – into his arm.

"Is Major Carter behind you, Sir?"

Jack continued to stare straight ahead. "No idea." He waited for her to withdraw the needle and watched as she set the vial on a tray.

"It must have been strange for her."

His eyes snapped to Janet’s. "What's that?"

"There being two of her. Sir."

" _Oh._ Oh, that... Yeah," he mumbled, looking at his hands.

"Colonel, are you sure everything is OK?"

He nodded, but didn't say anything else, letting Janet finish her poking and prodding in silence. Ten minutes later – and with Daniel and Teal'c – being cleared to leave the infirmary, Jack half-rolled his eyes when the doctor gave him strict orders to stay put as she waited for his remaining results to come back. He watched her walk away, only letting out a sigh when she entered her office. He ran a hand across his face and felt, rather than heard, someone behind him. A part of him hoped it was Carter. He wouldn't admit it to anyone, but he had been expecting her to follow the team to the infirmary, and the fact that she hadn't made an appearance, stung. He heard the slight rustle of fabric behind him as the person moved closer but his gut was telling him it wasn't Carter. He refused to examine why, but lately he'd been able to tell the instant she was behind him, or when she was about to walk into a room.

He closed his eyes in resignation.

He really was in trouble.

"Is everything OK, Jack?"

He tensed at Daniel’s question, but didn't say anything. He could virtually imagine his friend glance around the room as he decided on what to say next.

"Umm... Jack?"

He squinted slightly and looked down at his entwined hands resting between his knees. "I heard you the first time."

Daniel nodded slightly as he pushed his glasses back up his nose. "Oh. Uh, well?"

"Everything's just peachy," he replied dryly as he hopped off the bed and picked up one of the medical instruments Janet had left on the tray. He could feel Daniel's eyes tracing his movements, but he refused to turn around.

"Are you sure?"

The sound of the instrument as it hit off the metal tray resonated around the infirmary as Jack threw it down and spun around. He caught the wince in Daniel’s expression as his hands balled into fists at his sides before he leaned forward and rested them on the bed. When the archaeologist’s attention shifted to a point just beyond his shoulder, Jack knew the doctor had emerged from her office – while the slightest shake of Daniel’s head, told Jack that she had quickly retreated.

"I said everything is _fine_ , Daniel," he answered in a low voice, secretly telling him to drop the issue.

The two stared at each other, until Daniel finally looked away, but Jack’s tension didn’t ease – especially when he saw his teammate cross his arms in front of his chest and rock back on his heels.

"You're fine?"

He chose to ignore his friend’s dubious tone. "Yup."

"After everything that's just happened?"

Jack shrugged. "We helped them return home and saved the planet. Mission accomplished."

"That's not what I meant."

"We do this every day, Daniel. It's our job," he continued regardless. "This was no different," he mumbled quietly, diverting his attention to the bed.

Daniel narrowed his eyes and chose his next words carefully. "Isn't it?"

Jack slowly met the younger man's gaze, but this time, the anger and threatening edge he’d demonstrated earlier, had disappeared. In its place, was a conflicted man – one who was hurting, confused and even scared.

Daniel sighed heavily. "Jack –"

"I don't want to hear it, Daniel," he interrupted as he picked up another instrument and twirled it in his hands.

"Have you spoken to Sam?"

He didn't respond, but he didn't need to. He was sure the tightening of his jaw told Daniel all he needed to know.

"Don't you think you should?"

"And just what the hell am I supposed to say?" he challenged.

He watched Daniel flounder for a few seconds before he opened his arms wide and gave him a look that said, 'Exactly'. "Look, Daniel –" he muttered after a beat.

"This isn't the first time this has happened, you know," he stated quietly.

"What's that?"

"Uh, well –" He glanced over his shoulder, before he continued. "You and Sam."

Jack’s expression hardened and he raised his two index fingers in protest. “Daniel, it was one time and that damn virus turned us into cavemen – people – whatever.”

He frowned slightly when he realized how that sounded. Shaking his head, he tried again, only for Daniel to talk over him.

"No, no. I meant the whole alternate reality thing."

"Oh!" Jack's expression cleared, before a confused look settled. "Huh?"

"Two years ago, when the mirror transported me to a different reality, you and Sam were engaged. This time, you were married – it's the natural progression of a relationship."

"One that goes against regulations."

"Not in their realities."

"What's your point, Daniel?"

"Well, we've encountered the quantum mirror twice now, but it's been two different realities..."

When he trailed off, Jack waved his hand in a circle, encouraging him to continue. "Yeah? So? Therefore?"

Daniel snapped his mouth shut. He frowned a little before he took a deep breath. "One of the main constants in both worlds was the fact that you and Sam were together."

Jack didn't like where this conversation was going, but chose to act as nonchalant as possible. "I say again – what's your point?"

"Doesn't that tell you something?"

He drew in a long breath and let it go, puffing out his cheeks. "No."

"Jack!" Daniel exclaimed. "You know, you're not as stupid as you like to pretend. Were you honestly surprised to discover that you and Sam were married?"

Jack pursed his lips, but didn't answer. Eventually, he settled for a shrug, because in all honesty, he _wasn't_ as surprised as he probably should have been – and he caught Daniel nodding in agreement.

"It's funny when you think about it, really."

At Jack’s blank look he continued. "Well, Sam was – is – a civilian in their reality, but here, she's part of the Air Force."

Jack frowned. "How is that funny?"

"No matter what career choice she's made, her path always seems to cross yours. It's almost like fate," he added quietly after a beat.

Jack stiffened and was about to protest, when Daniel stopped him. "You should talk to her, Jack."

He ran a hand across his face. He knew his friend was right – but it didn't mean he had to actually like the idea. "Yeah, I know," he eventually agreed. "I just... I don't do the whole 'talking' thing."

Daniel offered him a small smile. "It might be easier than you think."

"How's that?"

"Because maybe things are different this time," Daniel said thoughtfully, before he turned and left Jack alone with his thoughts. 


	3. Chapter 3

Jack was halfway out of the infirmary as soon as he’d received the all-clear from Janet. He didn’t even respond to her request to take it easy for the rest of the day, just in case there were some effects to using the quantum mirror that they hadn’t yet discovered.

He let out a breath he didn’t realize he’d been holding as he stepped into the elevator and found it to be empty but as he reached out, his fingers hovered over the buttons. The idea of heading to the surface and then home crossed his mind, but then he remembered the look on Hammond’s face as he had been about to step back through the mirror and decided he really didn’t want to risk pushing his luck any further today.

Sighing, he jabbed the button for Level 28 and waited as he started the slow journey down to the General’s office.

He could hear Hammond voice’s as he made his way along the corridor and while he couldn’t make out the conversation, he did wince when he heard an abrupt, “thank you, doctor”, moments before a phone was slammed down.

Jack sighed. He had no doubt that Fraiser had just ratted him out for leaving the infirmary without waiting to hear what she’d had to say. He’d never learn to stop pissing the good doctor off. He raised a hand to knock when he was interrupted.

“Come in, Colonel, and close the door.”

He followed the order and took a seat when the General pointed to the chairs at the other side of the desk. He kept his gaze focused on the desk, but could feel Hammond eyes on him, so he tried to act as nonchalant as possible to minimize the risk of implicating himself any further in something which could land both himself – and possibly Carter – with a court martial.

_“Jack!”_

His head snapped up and he frowned.

“Sir?”

“I asked how you were feeling, Colonel.”

“Oh. I’m fine,” he replied evenly.

He chose to ignore the disbelieving look he received in return.

“Yes, Doctor Frasier said she gave you a clean bill of health, but advised you take the rest of the day off as a precaution. The same goes for Doctor Jackson and Teal’c.”

Jack nodded, but didn’t say anything. When the silence stretched to the point of almost becoming uncomfortable, the General repeated his original question.

“How are you son, really?”

“I’m fine, Sir.”

He carefully schooled his features and tried not to fidget as Hammond studied him for a few moments before he pushed a folder across the desk.

“Very well,” he sighed. “I want to talk to you about that mirror.”

Jack instinctively straightened. “What about it?”

“The orders are to have it destroyed. I want you to oversee the assignment.”

“Yes, Sir.”

“I mean it Jack. I want it gone as soon as possible. We can’t risk someone else coming through – and the consequences it might bring.”

“Understood, General.”

“Make sure you do, Colonel.”

Jack slowly met his gaze, his expression remaining neutral.

“If that’s everything, Sir…” he trailed off as he moved to stand.

“Not quite. I’d also like to talk to you about your earlier actions.”

Jack bit back a groan and slowly lowered himself back into the chair. “Sir, I –” He hesitated for a second. “General –” He winced and ran a hand across the back of his neck. He really didn’t want to discuss this with anyone, let alone his commanding officer.

“She thought I was her husband. I…”

He trailed off once again, not quite sure how to continue, when he heard Hammond sigh heavily.

“Do I need to place SG-1 on stand down?”

“Sir?”

“This has been a – delicate – situation, Jack. I’d understand if you want to take a few days to –”

“There’s no problem with my team, Sir,” he cut in defensively.

“Be that as it may, I think you – and other members of your team – need to solve any issues that have arisen as a result of Doctor Carter’s visit.”

Jack caught his hesitation and tried not to react.

“Jack, I’m not going to order you to tell me, but I need to know –”

“Nothing has ever happened between myself and my – ah – _Major_ Carter. Sir,” he stated, refusing to acknowledge his near miss at referring to Carter as ‘his’.

He waited patiently until he caught Hammond’s imperceptible nod. “I appreciate your candor, colonel.”

Jack nodded once in response. “Is there anything else?” he asked, waving a hand around in a vague gesture.

“Just one more thing.”

He resisted the urge to roll his eyes. “Once that mirror is destroyed, I suggest you talk to Major Carter.”

“I don’t –”

“It’s not an order, Jack. It’s a request. There’s no doubt your team is always able to bounce back from situations, but these last few days won’t have been easy for her. As a member of your team –”

“– It’s my responsibility to make sure, she’s OK,” Jack finished. “I, ah, I was actually going to see Carter after this meeting and – apologize,” he added quietly, avoiding the General’s gaze.

“Major Carter is no longer on the base.”

Jack’s eyes flew to his. “What? Why? Is she OK?”

He winced the moment the words left his mouth. So much for feigning ignorance about the situation – especially considering the look that was being levelled at him.

“She’s fine,” Hammond eventually shared. “She requested the afternoon off.”

Jack’s expression remained unreadable, but he could feel his panic rising. He’d never known Carter to willingly take leave. He wasn’t stupid though, and couldn’t blame her for wanting to get as far away from the base – and him – as possible. He knew he’d reacted badly upon his return to their reality, but if he was honest he had been totally blindsided by the experience, not to mention scared, by the unexpected and intense emotions he was now feeling. He realized he really did need to apologize to her, or at least attempt to try and explain his actions.

“Take the next couple of days off and try to sort out any issues before you return. Dismissed.”

Nodding once in affirmation, he slapped his hands on his thighs as he got to his feet. He had just reached the door when the general’s voice stopped him.

“And Jack?”

He half-turned to face him.

“Yes, Sir?”

“Tread carefully, son.”

Jack straightened. There was no mistaking the warning look in his leader’s eye. The one that referred to the military’s strict fraternization rules. However, there was also the quiet, almost sympathetic tone with which he had addressed Jack; the one that spoke more of a concerned friend. Nodding slowly, he opened the office door.

“Yes, Sir.”

He made his way through the Briefing Room and down the stairs, before he sighed heavily. He had a horrible feeling that things were about to become a lot more complicated.

**TBC…**


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I thought it was time I gave Jack a break… so now it’s Sam’s turn.

Sam chose not to stay with the mirror once the Colonel brushed by her. She also made the decision to not follow her teammates down to the infirmary, even though she wanted to; but the scientist in her had so many questions – so many theories she wanted to explore – yet she couldn't bring herself to voice any of them.

She caught a glimpse of her commanding officer just before the elevator doors slid shut and she let out a breath when she realized she wouldn’t have to share the small space with him. After a brief wait on her own elevator, she soon found herself on Level 25, standing in front of her locker and staring intently at a photograph in her hand. In frustration, she slammed her locker shut, turned on her heel, and a few minutes later, found herself outside General Hammond's office, her hand raised and knocking on the door. As she stood in front of the oversized desk, rambling off a barrage of words she wasn't even sure made sense, she had tried to ignore the concerned expression on the General's face. So, she just kept talking – and what she'd said in the end, she didn't actually know, but assumed it came across as reasonable. Either that, or the General had felt sorry for her, because with a gentle reminder that it wasn't necessary for her to attend the post-mission briefing, she was granted the rest of the day off. It took her all of fifteen minutes to change into civvies, sign out and make her way home.

She closed the front door with a sigh and leaned heavily against it. As she closed her eyes, she tried to process the events of the last few days – and the last few hours in particular – but didn’t know where to start. With another sigh, she threw her keys onto the small table in the hallway. Bypassing the front room, kitchen and the blinking red light of her answering machine, she shirked off her jacket and headed up the stairs and into the bathroom. She hit the taps with more force than necessary and tried to reign in her emotions as she watched the tub fill with water.

As she sank beneath the bubbles, Sam reached over and lifted the photo she had placed on the edge of the tub. She studied it closely; held it at arm’s length; flipped it over – and over; and at one stage, even found her fingers delicately tracing the subject’s outline. Finally, she shook her head in bemusement. She didn’t even know what she was looking for. If anything. All she could think about was the moment she had come to own the photograph.

* * *

_Sam turned slowly at the sound of someone softly clearing their throat and saw Doctor Carter hovering in the doorway._

_“Am I interrupting anything?”_

_“No. I just wanted to check something before you all went through the mirror. Shouldn’t you be getting ready?” she asked hesitantly, noticing the lack of guns or... anything really, that might protect her counterpart from the Goa’uld._

_“Oh, I’m ready,” she said with a shrug, which reminded Sam immediately of the Colonel. “I – ah – wanted to talk to you about something.”_

_“OK,” Sam answered slowly, hoping her unease didn’t show._

_She waited as the other Sam glanced around the lab. Even though there were significant differences between the two of them, she felt like she understood exactly how her alternate self was feeling at that particular moment. She was nervous, but also worried – as if she was debating whether or not she should voice whatever was on her mind._

_“I want you to have this,” the doctor said simply as she held out a small piece of paper._

_It was facing downwards, so Sam couldn’t see what was on it. She frowned slightly and met her double’s eye as she searched for an answer to her unspoken question. All that was forthcoming, however, was a small – almost knowing – smile. Her frown deepened when her visitor added, “Just because we’re from different realities, doesn’t make it any less real.”_

_With that, she placed the paper in Sam’s hand. Sam glanced gown and went to ask what the doctor meant by her comment when she discovered she was once again alone in her lab. She sighed and flipped over the piece of paper, only to freeze at the image now staring back at her. It was one of her – the alternate her – and Colonel O’Neill in an embrace on what appeared to be their wedding day. She sucked in a breath and grabbed onto one of the benches as the room started to spin._

_“We’re ready to go, Sam.”_

_Her head snapped up and caught Daniel regarding her with a strange look. “Is everything OK?”_

_She cleared her throat and forced a smile. “Yeah, thanks Daniel. I’ll be right there.”_

_She waited until he disappeared before she risked another look at the photograph and then slipped in into the pocket of her BDUs._

* * *

The now-cold water jolted Sam out of her thoughts and she dragged herself into a sitting position and reached for a towel. She was still no closer to understanding anything that had occurred ever since Doctor Carter and Kawalsky had stepped through the quantum mirror – and she still didn’t understand the other Sam’s comment.

_Just because we’re from different realities, doesn’t make it any less real._

“What the hell is that supposed to mean anyway?” she muttered to her empty bedroom.

Sam wasn’t naïve. She knew the Colonel was an attractive man – she’d known that the moment they’d met – and she actually enjoyed his dark and twisted sense of humor, not to mention his loyalty and abilities as a leader. But she also wasn’t stupid. Anything that could be remotely classed as romantic between the two of them would land them both in serious trouble.

She suddenly frowned at the thought. When had she started thinking of her commanding officer and romance in the same sentence?

She shook her head and thought back to one of their recent missions when they had been taken prisoner by Hathor. If she closed her eyes and concentrated, Sam could still feel the way the Colonel’s arms had wrapped around her and pulled her close when he’d discovered that she was still alive. And she could still feel the way he had pulled her body flush against his and placed his hand gently on her face as they had to hide from the Jaffa guards.

Sam swallowed hard at the memories. She thought the Colonel had started acting differently ever since they had returned from that mission. It wasn’t a major difference, just the small things – like turning up at her lab a couple of additional times a week, or the way he would hold her gaze for just a second or two longer than usual. She hadn’t really thought much of it at the time, but now – as she sat on the edge of the bed and the photo lay discarded beside her – did she realize there had been a shift in her relationship with her CO.

His kiss with Doctor Carter proved that, didn’t it? Even if it was only to offer the woman comfort, why didn’t he just give her a comforting hug?

Sam rolled her eyes at the ridiculousness of her own argument. If only it wasn’t so confusing, and not as hurtful, she would laugh, but then she wondered what would happen if she had to face another Jack O’Neill… and she really didn’t know. She couldn’t quite see herself locking lips with him though – regardless of how tempting the thought might be.

Before she could dwell on the thought however, there was a sharp knock on the front door and she felt her stomach plummet.

There was only one person it could be.

**TBC…**


	5. Chapter 5

Jack heard the faint sound of footsteps coming from inside Carter’s house, before they stopped a few feet away from the door. He sighed and sharply knocked again.

“Carter, open up!”

He was slightly taken aback when Sam opened the front door, as he wasn’t completely sure she wanted to see him. He shoved his hands into the pockets of his jacket and rocked back on his heels as he tried to think of something to say, but quickly decided to forgo any smart-ass comment he might usually have made, and as he glanced at Sam he noticed she was half-hidden behind the door, with one of her arms wrapped tightly around her waist, almost in a defensive gesture. She looked small and vulnerable – a far cry from the Carter he was used to seeing every day at the base – and he knew it was his fault.

“Carter, I was just –” He winced at his attempt to strike up a conversation and sighed. “Can I come in?”

She silently stepped aside and Jack mumbled his thanks as waited for permission to go further into the house. Usually, he wouldn't have felt the need to wait, but it seemed different this time.

"Can I get you anything, Sir?"

He briefly entertained the idea of saying 'you', but quickly shot the thought down.

"Ah, no. Thanks."

Whilst it might be nice, he mused, it probably wouldn't be the best idea he ever had.

When Sam gestured towards the front room, Jack fell into step behind her. He waited and watched as his second-in-command sat on the small couch and tucked her feet underneath her. Even though he wanted to sit beside her, he also needed to put some distance between them, so he chose the armchair to his left. He studied his hands for a few moments before he rested his elbows on his knees and risked a glance at Sam. Her brow furrowed with worry and her eyes seemed to sparkle – but not with their usual excitement, he noted. Involuntarily, his attention fell lower, to her lips and –

He quickly cleared his throat, but before he could say anything, Sam broke the silence.

"With all due respect, Sir, what are you doing here?"

"Would you believe me if I said I was in the neighborhood?"

When his attempt at humor fell flat, he sighed. "Hammond said you'd gone home. I just wanted to make sure you were OK."

"I told General Hammond I was fine."

"Yeah, that's what he said too."

His quiet, but dubious, response seemed to hit a nerve with Sam. "Is there a problem? Sir?" she asked defensively.

"You tell me. "

"I said I was fine – but it seems you don't believe me."

"Maybe I do, maybe I don’t,” he said with a grin completely void of amusement. “But here's the thing, Carter, I know _you_. You never take downtime when you're ordered to, let alone go and willingly ask for it. That's a red flag to me."

There was a significant pause before Sam answered. "Did you oversee the –"

"Yeah. The mirror's gone – destroyed – whatever. We don't need to worry about anyone else coming through in the future. National Security, and all that," he continued softly.

Sam nodded in agreement, but Jack saw the inner conflict she was battling; the military side of her would know that it was the most sensible action for the SGC to take, but he also knew that the scientist in Sam would be devastated.

"That… makes sense," she slowly replied.

"Yeah." The uncomfortable silence returned as Jack hesitated. "It was weird."

Sam frowned. "What was, Sir?"

"You. Her. The both of you."

He finally lifted his head and met Sam's gaze, his eyes dark and unreadable. "You never did fully answer my question, you know."

She tilted her head slightly. "What question?"

"Outside Doctor Carter's guest quarters. When I asked how you were doing with... everything," he shrugged.

Sam cleared her throat. "I – I didn't know you really wanted to talk about it."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

He tried to ignore her wary look. "I thought you didn't do the whole 'talking' thing?"

"I don't," he replied with a resigned grin.

"Oh."

"Yeah." He paused, then turned slightly to face her. "I think we need to talk about it."

"Sir –"

"Can we not do that?" He cut in, causing Sam's brow to furrow in confusion.

"But you just –"

"I mean the whole 'Sir', thing," he clarified, gesturing vaguely between them. "I think this conversation calls for it, don't you?" He lowered his voice. "Carter – _Sam_ – Hammond knows that we've never – ah…"

"Did – did he think we’d –"

There was no good way to finish that sentence, so Jack just shook his head to stop her continuing. "But let’s just say that he had some questions."

He watched as the color drained from the Major’s face and before he could fully think through his plan, he moved and crouched down to her eye level. It took a few seconds for Sam to look at him and her gaze cleared.

"You kinda zoned out on me there, Carter. You OK?"

She nodded, but even though he didn’t quite believe her, he decided to let it go. He leaned back on his heels, but remained crouched as he studied Sam. She looked exhausted and he wondered if he should ask Hammond to take them off the mission rota for a few days. He'd spoken before he realized.

"Maybe Hammond should put us on stand down."

"What? Why?"

"He thought we might want some time to think about things. Y'know, with the mirror and stuff," he mumbled, his discomfort increasing with each second that passed. Sam's blank expression wasn't helping matters either.

"But –"

She stopped abruptly when Jack shot her a loaded look. "Oh," she whispered.

"Does he need to?"

Remarkably resembling a fish, Sam opened and closed her mouth as she thought of something to say. "I don't know," she eventually managed, but Jack sensed her hesitation.

"But?"

"But – technically – I haven't done anything to warrant being taken off active duty, Sir. With all due respect, you're the one who got too – well, you were more involved in the mission than I was."

Jack pushed himself to his feet and perched on the edge of the coffee table, so he was still sitting opposite her.

"I know," he said with a heavy sigh. "And I’m sorry, Sam. I should never –" He ran a hand over his face as he thought about what to say. "She wanted to say goodbye."

"I can understand that," she admitted quietly. "But I still wish you had been the one to tell me."

Jack looked at her, but gave nothing away. His tone matched hers when he spoke. "Tell you what?"

He tried not to grimace at the disapproving stare he received.

"That we – _they_ – were married."

"I was going to."

"But you didn't."

"No."

"When did you find out?"

He decided to take the cowardly way out and looked down at his hands, entwined in front of him.

"You knew that night, didn’t you? When you stopped me from going to see her?"

He felt his jaw tighten, so he knew from Sam’s close proximity that she could feel the tension radiating off him, and his silence gave her the answer she needed, so he wasn’t surprised to hear her disbelief.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"I couldn't."

"Why not?"

"Because –" He stood abruptly and paced back and forth in the small room. His expression was thunderous, but his voice betrayed him. He sounded tired, defeated. "Because I didn't know what the hell to do, Sam. You – _she_ – said we were married – _married!_ – and that we had been celebrating our first anniversary when the call came through. The next thing I knew she was crying, and in my arms, and I just tried to comfort her until she fell asleep."

He paused and Sam stayed quiet, for which he was thankful. "When I left her quarters, I hadn't even started to think about what it all meant, let alone share it with somebody else. Especially you," he murmured.

He heard Sam take a deep breath. "Is this conversation still off-the-record, Sir?"

He nodded and out of the corner of his eye, he saw her slowly get to her feet.

"I wish you had been the one to tell me – and tell me privately – rather than Kawalsky in front of everyone at the briefing."

Her words made Jack stop pacing and he sighed heavily. "Yeah, I know."

"It hurt," Sam pressed on. "It still does. I don’t think I deserved to find out the way I did."

Her words stung, but Jack couldn’t blame her, because she was right. She had deserved better.

"This situation affected the both of us, but there were some very important details that _you_ kept from _me_. We’re supposed to be a team, Sir. Did you not trust me?"

His eyes snapped to hers at the veiled accusation, but his own surprise and hurt must have shown for a moment, as Sam stared back at him with a shocked look.

"Carter, how long have we worked together?"

"Three years."

Jack nodded. "And in those three years, have I ever given you any indication that I’ve doubted your abilities?"

She shook her head. "No, you haven’t."

"I trust you with my life, Sam," he whispered. "Never, ever question that. But you’re right," he reluctantly admitted. "I should have told you about us – _them_ ,” he quickly corrected. "I’m sorry."

His admission, instead of feeling like a weight had been lifted from his shoulders, felt like the weight of the world now rested heavily on them. He sighed and resumed his seat on the edge of the coffee table.

"You said that earlier, too," Sam interjected quietly as she sat beside him.

Their knees were just inches apart, and Jack had to stop from reaching out to touch her. He clenched his fists and looked her steadily in the eye.

"I did." He paused. "Can I ask you something, Carter?"

She nodded.

"Do you ever wonder what your life would be like if things had turned out differently?"

"I –"

"I do," he continued. "After Charlie –" He stopped abruptly, looking wistful. "I just wonder, you know?"

"I sometimes wonder what it would be like if my mom was still here," Sam shared quietly. "It's not like I can change anything, but... sometimes I miss her."

"I know."

And he did. Jack O'Neill knew only too well what she referred to.

"But then I really think about it," Sam added, her voice growing in strength. "And I realize that everything that has happened since the accident – it’s all led me towards the Air Force and the Stargate Program. I don't know if I would be _here_ , right now… with you, if my mom was still alive."

Jack cocked his head to the side at Sam’s confession. As much as Charlie's death still haunted him – and he knew that he would never forgive himself for it – he also knew that the accident was what had brought him to this point in his life too. It had introduced him to the SGC, but instead of taking his life like he'd first planned, it had saved his life. He'd met Daniel and Teal'c – not to mention the woman sitting by his side, who had touched his life in a way he was only truly beginning to discover.

"I guess it was just – strange – to know that we are married in one reality, but in this one... well, it's the last thing we can do," Jack admitted.

Silence fell between the pair for a few beats when he suddenly asked: "Do you think there's a reality out there where we haven't met?"

"Theoretically, Sir? There’s a –"

"Ack, Carter! It's been a stressful few days."

"Right. Yes, it's possible."

"Huh," he mused. "I don't think I'd like that reality."

A grin tugged at the corner of his mouth at Sam’s expression and he shrugged. "Yeah, not knowing you, or seeing you every day? It'd suck. So, I guess I can understand why you – the other you – had a hard time with _me_. I know you're different but, when we were saying goodbye, I thought…"

He ran a hand across the back of his neck to try and ease his discomfort. "For a moment I thought it was you and I just – I needed to be there for _you_."

He dropped his gaze, but remained determined to say everything he had come here to say.

"And when I stepped back through the mirror, I could feel your eyes burning into the back of my head." He let out a light chuckle, but there was no real mirth to be found. "Then I remembered there were two of you and I couldn't – I _can't_ – comfort you, the way I’d sometimes like to."

He glanced sideways to Carter, his eyes pleading with her to understand his disjointed explanation.

"It's different," she offered quietly.

"Yeah," he replied, matching her tone. "But it doesn’t mean it isn’t real, Sam." Her eyes filled with tears when he added: "I'll always be there for you, no matter what."

"I know," she smiled.

They sat in silence for a few moments when Jack cleared his throat. "Kawalsky said we make a pretty good team."

"We?"

" _Us_ ," he clarified.

"Oh." Sam’s surprise quickly turned to interest. "Really?"

He nodded slowly. "Yeah. Well, he said we looked pretty good together, but –" He stopped abruptly and let his gaze roam over her face. "I think there’s truth in both of those statements," he whispered.

A shaky breath escaped from Sam as she held his gaze. "Yeah. I think so too."

"We’d be the best," he added, gently nudging her knee with his as they shared a small smile. "Are we going to be OK, Carter?"

He watched as Sam tugged her bottom lip between her teeth and regarded him thoughtfully. Finally, she nodded. "We'll be OK."

He pursed his lips and nodded in return. "I like your hair better."

The heavy mood that had been in the room moments earlier vanished with his quip, and despite herself, Sam laughed softly. They met each other's gaze once more and held one of their silent conversations, which Jack noticed had been happening a lot more lately, but he pushed the thought aside. It would take them a while to figure out where they stood with each other, but they’d get there.

"I should go."

Sam nodded and followed him into the hallway, but she was too busy looking at the floor so didn't realize he had stopped and turned around just short of the front door, until she collided with his chest.

"Oomph!"

"Easy, Carter," he mumbled, as his hands came to rest on her arms.

"Sorry, Sir."

The little voice in the back of his head shouted at him to step away and leave, but he couldn’t seem to get his hands or body to obey the order. Instead, he searched Sam’s face as if he was trying to memorize every little detail. He let his attention drift down to her lips for a second before returning to her eyes. But he resolutely ignored the warnings and cupped her face with his hands as he leaned in. His lips brushed gently against hers, before he pulled back and leaned his forehead against hers.

He closed his eyes and tried to stamp down on whatever the hell he was feeling. He had been struck by Sam's beauty the first time he'd laid eyes on her, but if he was honest, ever since they had returned from their little spell with Hathor, Jack knew something had changed on his part. However, since his interest in Carter could be viewed as entirely inappropriate for more than one reason, he decided it was best not to dwell on the issue, so he’d tried to ignore the feelings she stirred within him.

He pulled back slightly, only for Sam to step forward and kiss him. This time, he responded and the kiss was slow and soft. When the need for air became too great, he ran his thumb across her cheek, and Sam instinctively leaned into his touch. The action made Jack’s heart slam against his chest. A part of him had enjoyed his bittersweet kiss with Doctor Carter, but that was all it had been. Sure, he'd been attracted to her – it was Carter after all – but it was nothing compared to what he was now experiencing with _his_ Carter in his arms. Every single cell in his body tingled and he was sure his stomach wasn't supposed to be somersaulting like it was. He couldn't even think of something to say.

It was then, when he remembered Doctor Carter's question.

_You're really not him, are you?_

"She was right," Jack mumbled, as he let his hand fall to his side and stepped back. He ignored Sam's confused expression. "Because she really isn't you either."

Before Sam had a chance to ask what he meant, he had opened the front door and made his way towards his truck. He risked a glance over his shoulder and as he caught the look on her face, he swallowed hard at the emotions he saw there.

He was well on the way to falling in love with Samantha Carter, but now he knew that those feelings were reciprocated, he suddenly wondered if they really would be okay.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for every single kudos and comment left - they honestly brighten up my day! I hope the conclusion has been worth waiting for and I've kept our favorite couple true to their on-screen characters...


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